I consider my husband and I to have a very open and honest relationship. We both love to talk and we tell each other everything. Well, maybe I wouldn’t go that far. I’m sure if he were checking out the hottie in the convertible out on his way home, he wouldn’t tell me. Just like I don’t tell him every time some random guy hits on me. I would consider that to be holding back which is quite different from lying. That’s another story. I recently found out my husband lied to me. What makes it worse, is the fact that he has been telling the same lie over and over for the past two years! Here’s how it all went down.
Scenario: The family is out shopping. Husband, Wife (me) & our 24month old son.
Husband: Oh man! What is that smell? Hon, do you smell that? Did you fart? 
Wife: No, did you? Check the baby... I thought you were going to change him!?
Husband: I did. I think.
Wife: Ugh, I WILL check him. Yeah, he pooped. I have to run and pick up this prescription before the pharmacy closes. Please go change him.
Husband: I can’t.
Wife: Why can’t you? I’ve changed 4 crappy diapers today. You’re telling me you can’t even change one? Come on babe, I’ve got to get to the pharmacy.
Husband: No, I can’t. They don’t have a table for me to change him.
Wife: What!? You’re kidding me.
Husband: Nope. I’m serious.
Wife: Well, that’s stupid. What do single dads do when they have to change their baby’s diaper? I can’t believe it. Are you serious?
Husband: I’m dead serious. Go check if you don’t believe me.
Wife: No, that’s fine. I will do it. At least we know the builder was a man, and without kids obviously.
You get the gist. So men’s bathrooms do not have changing tables. Okay, whatever. I was a bit annoyed, but I got over it fast. Everything changed at a recent trip to Bass Pro Shop with my husband, son and father.
Husband: Oh man, I’ve got to run to the truck and grab my wallet.
Wife: You forgot it again? Ugh, well hurry up.
Husband: *runs out to the truck*
Wife: What’s that smell?
My Dad: You know I can’t smell.
Wife: Awe, it’s A. Why does he always wait until we’re shopping before he goes poop! Crap! The wipes are in the truck and I don’t have my phone. *My dad goes to grab wipes*
Thanks dad. I will be right back.
My Dad: Oh no, let me do it.
Wife: Are you sure? Let me, I will be right back.
My Dad: Yeah, I have to go too.
Wife: Ok, I will be looking around right here. Oh wait! You can’t change him! They don’t have baby changing stations.
My Dad: *laughs* Yes, they do. *Takes baby to change diaper. Returns shortly*
Wife: I can’t believe him. He told me men’s restrooms don’t have baby changing stations. I can’t believe he has been letting me change poopy diapers for the past two years.
My Dad: *laughs, only more hysterically* They do. He got you!
When my husband finally returned, I brought up the topic. I told him I could not believe he had lied for the past two years, pawning the poopy diapers off on me every single time. He responded with “ Bass Pro is the only one. I’ve never seen them before.” My dad was quick to laugh before telling me that most men’s restrooms have changing stations.
Wow! I can’t believe I fell for that one. I can’t help but laugh at the entire situation. How could I have been so gullible? If only I had went and checked the men’s restroom during our first shopping trip. I guess all I can say is lesson learned.
Did you already know men’s restrooms are equipped with changing stations? Has your husband ever lied to you to get out of changing a diaper? What excuses has he come up with?
Just a friendly note…Do not search Google Images for “Man Diaper Funny”. What you will see is not funny. It’s unusual, odd, a bit disturbing and absolutely not funny – at all.
