I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who took time to share your advice and suggestions. I removed the original post for personal reasons but I am sincerely appreciative of your thoughts and help with handling this situation.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
First of all..HUGE hugs to you! I can't imagine how hard this would be.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I think this is one of those deals where everyone is going to handle it differently based on their own circumstances. If it were me, I would tell him Nana went bye-bye..he's young and children are so resilient. Then when he gets older, you can explain it more appropriately based on his age.
I'm so sad for both you and your son...keep your head up..it's evident you have a good one on your shoulders! XO
I would say go ahead and let him know that Nana did something very bad and got in trouble for it so he may not see her for awhile. I would suggest sitting him down and telling him, not waiting for him to bring it up. Explain that their are consequences for these things but that she does love him.
ReplyDeleteSorry.. I have been listening to Dr. Laura too much. Sorry about you having to deal with this, my hubby grew up with an alcoholic father and drugged out mom and I know how hard it was on him.
I’m so sorry to hear this. Please stay strong and grounded, In time the pain of the situation won’t feel as sharp as now. If it was up to me I’ll tell my son grandma went “bye bye” and we will see her some time in the future. I wouldn’t want him to have this kind of memories, as we all know hard stuff that happens to us in the past, stay with us as scars on our hearts forever. Keep him innocent and pure as long as you can.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you.
anat
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. My grandmother was an alcoholic and it was a very painful process for our family. IMO, I would tell your son your mother went "bye bye" and explain it to him when he gets older. he really wouldn't understand it at that early age.
ReplyDeleteLots of prayers and positive thoughts coming your way.
Jen,
ReplyDeleteI tried to send you a message through your "Contact" application. Hope it worked.
That's really sad that this happened. Perhaps she can get clean in jail. Then maybe after she has made some changes you can allow her some visitation. 10 years is a long time. He might grow up to resent you for now seeing her a few times. But it is up to you. I would wait awhile and look for signs of improvement.
ReplyDeleteOhh no! I am so sorry Jen. *HUGS* I really don't have any advice for you (I have luckily never had to deal with alcoholics and I don;t have kids yet, so I am unsure too of what you should do). If you want someone to talk to...I am here for you.
ReplyDeleteI am going to email you. Hang in there you are doing a good job and remember your and your kids come first.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Laura. I have grown up without one of my grandmothers because she is such a.. not-nice person. My family has always told me such.
ReplyDeleteI feel like this isn't something you can hide. If you do, and he grows up to find out the truth, he might resent the people that hid it from him. (Then again, I am a pessimist, so this is worst case senerio!)
I would just say this: Don't hide it. Be gentle, but don't hide it.
I have 3 children and I would say that 22 months is a little early to explain alot of detail. When a friend of mine went into the army (fewer than 10 years obviously but...) they told their 2yo that "daddy's gone marching" when he asked about him.
ReplyDeleteI'd think of something positive to explain to your child and that nana had to go somewhere far far away for awhile. I'd take alot of her pictures and create a picture book for you guys to look at and talk about. That would keep a close connection there possibly. HTH!
Your mother made a mistake and sounds like a few of them. Obviously she has problems. Unfortunately, you as her daughter have to deal with them too and now your mom will be going away. Is that a positive sentence of 10 yrs or is that an approx? Since you said it happened last night I'm sure its not set in courts yet.
ReplyDeleteI can only hope that things aren't that bad and your mother gets help and learns to cope with her addition and learns to find other ways of dealing with her other problems other than alcohol or drugs.
With that being said I'd hold off on telling your child. I too would not bring my child in that type of environment unless of course it's more of a rehab center than a jail.
You don't want him to forget his grandma she's paying for her mistakes. There are far worse things than going to jail I'm just glad she's still alive to learn the lesson some people aren't as fortunate.
{{HUGS}}} it has to be hard for you to deal with maybe you too should seek someone to talk to
My Stepfather was a Alcoholic-just a word of reference- I know where your coming from. He to went to Jail.
I have something that might cheer you up a little! http://www.thriftyandfrugalliving.com/2010/03/blog-award.html
ReplyDelete